OUR STORY…
“You look
pretty today too, Sandara-ssi.”
“Thank you.”
That’s all I
could say when somebody gives me compliment. When you receive the same kind of
treatment everyday, aren’t you getting
tired with that?
My day. My
boring day. My usual boring day.
The sky
looks like provoking me when I look at them. Why are them so wide and clear. Even when I look at them, they have
many things stick together to fill the space. Then… how about my heart?
“Sandara-ssi!
We are going to take the scene now, get ready.”
“Ne.” I
forced myself to answer the staff with a bright smile that I always send to
people, but honestly, I want someone to realize how empty my smile was. Today,
I had to shoot some scene for my upcoming drama; I should be professional
enough to change my mood in a drastic time. Though, I really hate being fake to
myself but as I learn to be an actress, no matter how sad you are you still
have to smile in front of people, and so as a performer, no matter how sick you
are, you still have to lift your head up and face everyone who leans their hope
to you…
“What is
that? A smile? Looks like a fool.”
This guy
again. He is my partner in this drama but there is something I couldn’t hide
from him. It makes me dislike him. It makes me want to run and hide from him.
Whenever I’m being fake to myself he
looks like can feel it through my pain. It
makes me want to break myself and leans on him… I hate it…
“Kim Kyu
Jong-sunbaenim, let’s do our best for
today too.” I stressed the word sunbaenim
to provoke him. However, he is my senior. I still respect him. It just his
action that make me thinks I should build a wall between us.
“Please
don’t use that smile when you talk to me.” He whispers to me.
I have to run from him….
“Cut!”
The director
keeps saying that for some hours now. I know there must be something wrong on
my acting. I did my best, though. But,
why can’t I?
“Okay, let’s
take a break now.”
The staffs
let out a deep sigh. I know they must be really disappointed with me. I know
they must be thinking an Idol
shouldn’t get into an acting field. I
know their stare are pulling me down… Eomma, what should I do?
“Well, I
already know this would happen.” Kyujong sunbae’s voice breaks through my deep
thoughts. I look at him when he decides to sit beside me. It’s the scene that I
have to look at him with “love”. But, how could I do that when I don’t have any
feel near to “love”?
“You dislike
me?” He mocked me.
“No… I’m
not.” I answered him the best I could.
“Or you
don’t have any love experience? You’ve been dating, have you?” He looked at me
with that stare. A stare which I hate the most.
A stare that could break the wall
I’ve built between us… I refused to look at him and looking at my shoes
instead when he takes a deep breath.
“Let’s do
something.”
I was
shocked when he suddenly pulled my hand and dragged me away from the filming
location. What the heck this guy is going
to do with me?
“S-sunbaenim,
what are you doing?” I tried to release my hand from his grip but he really
locked my hand tightly and keeps dragging me away to walk with him.
“Let’s have
a date.’
Huh?
HUH?
A DATE?!
IS HE
KIDDING ME?!?
“A… A
date?!” I could see a smirk on his face because I know he is doing this to
tease me. “Sunbaenim… you must be joking, right?” I flushed a fake usual bright
smile to him when he suddenly stopped and turned around in front of me which
making me more surprised.
“I really
hate this smile.” He stretched my cheeks. I couldn’t even fight him back. “I
will make a pure smile flashes from your face.” He look at me straightly again
with that stare. He dragged my hand again and keep making me followed him. That
stare made me lost my words every time.
He stopped
by at an ice cream shops. He dragged my hand again and led me to go through the
glasses door which automatically moved aside when you passed it. The shop is
filled with lovers, like I expected. I still have no idea what is his purpose
with dragging me into this kind of “date” he said.
“What flavor
do you like?” He asked me while still holding my hand.
“Strawberry…”
“Alright,
one strawberry and vanilla.”
He led me
again to the empty seat on the corner of the shop near the window. The seat is
maroon colored with feather onto it which making the seat comfortable to you
spending your boring day only by shopping an ice cream. I looked through the
window when I saw people walking around the street as time goes by, doing their
own activities. I sometimes wonder if I would be look like them if I’m not and idol. Doing only the same routine every
day which maybe will be much boring than being in the glamorous life I had.
“You shall
only look at your boyfriend when you are having a date.” Kyujong sunbae sit
beside me. He sometimes is scary for me because it seems that he could read my
mind by only looking at my eyes.
“Who is my
boyfriend?” I look at him confusedly.
“Who else?
Me.” He grabbed my hand and laces his fingers with mine tightly. I would give
him a big applause for acting successfully as my boyfriend if only he didn’t
lock my hand. I looked at his hand that wrapped my hand perfectly. Somehow, it overwhelmed me. His hand is big
and warm…
Wait. What
did I think about? I can’t lose to him.
I released
my hand and pushed my face away from him. This is bizarre. How could I let him
controlling me? I should have been more careful with his next action toward me.
This is just a fake date; I won’t let myself get drowned with him.
“Just relax.
How could you make that face when you are dating?” He laughed at me.
Ugh. He
underestimated me. Okay, I will follow his game.
“A date
huh…Okay, we are dating.” I flushed a smirk on my face. Enough to threaten him,
I hope. He looked surprised to see me challenging the game he was starting. He
seemed to enjoy this “date” judging by how happy he is when I said I will follow
the game or… is he really happy dating
with me?
“Just enjoy
it.” He said while smiling like he could read my mind, as always. I ignored him
by now when the ice creams we ordered being served in front of us. I will worry
about him later. As for now, I couldn’t reject ice cream that calling my
hunger. I’m too much drowned eating ice cream till I didn’t realize his eyes
are observing me.
“What?” I
examined his expression that keeps monitoring me like I am a kind of a prison. He
bends his body toward me and moves his face inch and inch closer to me. Suddenly, he put his hand and wipes the corner
of my lips from the ice cream which I left on my lips.
What kind of feeling is this…. Why my heart
is beating fast…. That stare again…. I really can’t win from that stare… what I
should do when he stares at me like that….
I closed my
eyes. I’m really scared of that stares. He could break the wall which I built
this long to protect me from people’s eyes looking deeply to my heart.
“Ya, babo-ya.” Kyujong flicked my forehead
when I feel something discomfort roaming around my skin. He chuckled. I opened
my eyes again and I could see him eating his ice cream while enjoyed teasing
me. I shouldn’t let my guard down again. Nevertheless, this fake date is a game
he is playing on me. I couldn’t lose to him.
“By the way,
even though you are my senior, I am older than you. You should call me noona!”
I tried to fight him back. He chomped on his spoon and looks like he was
measuring something on his mind whilst looking at me after I declared that.
“Sirheo.”
Said him as I could detect from him that he was…. Laughing embarrassedly?
“Why?” I
didn’t expect him to be like that since I request him to call me noona.
He took a
glimpse on me whereas he placed his hand on my head and messed my hair.
“Sandara-ssi.” He called me with a low voice.
Once again… my heart beating so fast…
“L-let’s go
from here!” I demanded him. I feel like my cheeks are burnt. I should move to
calm my heart. Leaving him with his ice cream I ran away from him. Passing by
the automatic glasses door I keep running forward. What’s wrong with my heart? I keep proceeding forward until kyujong
pull my hand and that was when I realized I was running toward the traffic. I
was ended on his hug as I could remember because that sudden situation was
shocked me. If he didn’t pull me I would be dead by now when cars could hit my
all-bones body.
“Are you
really that stupid?!” he shrieked at me without expression. My heart keeps
beating fast that I couldn’t control it even more. What is this…? Am I fallen for him..?
“Let’s go
back to the filming set. It’s too dangerous running around without direction. I
think our break time nearly over too.” He holds my hand in a gentle way,
different from the first time he dragged me with a sudden announcement we were
going to date.
I decided to
agree with him. I followed him. When I look at his back, it’s wide and….. Feels
like someone you could lean on. Why…. Why
do I feel strange on my mind…. Why do I feel jealous at the same time… why my
heart can’t calm…?
It’s our
scene now. I have to show my happy face with my role being his lover. I look at
him sincerely. Smile at him sincerely. Even though this all are scripted but
why did I wished this all true?
“Next
scene!” the director shouted at us as soon as we are moving to the back of the
building when kyujong cornered me and we will have our kissing scene.
This all are scripted…
I couldn’t
stop myself to preserve that all his action toward me completely because he had
to do that. Other person writes the story. Other person demands us to be like
this. This all not true. But why….
He stares at
me again. The stares that keep breaking the wall I’ve built. He is the only one
which could see through my eyes. He is the only person that could realize my
true heart. He is the one I fall for…. The time seems
to be in synch with all my wishes. He proceeds to get closer to my face through
inches. I could look directly into his eyes. The eyes that overwhelmed me. The
eyes that feels surreal. But this all are
scripted… would he still doing this toward me if we aren’t subjected to stand
each other?
I couldn’t
help myself and let the tears dropping on my cheeks.
“I love
you…” he spoke to me in a very gentle way. That’s all his dialogue on the
script. He rests his hand on my cheeks as I could feel his big hand wiping my
tears. How I wish this all true… how I
wish I could trust that sentences….
It’s all
naturally. All things I did naturally. I loved him. I realized I had a feel for
him. I closed my eyes and feel his lips touching my lips. It was warm…. how I wished the time would stop… I can feel the
softness of his lips. He pressed his lips against me deeper as if he is asking
me to trust him. I replied his kiss by pressing my lips deeply against him. I
loved the feel. Has it always been this comfortable being with him..?
“Cut!” the
director gave us a big round applause. I slowly opened my eyes and look at his
face closely when he pulled his face back from my face while keep smiling
gently with that stare.it looks like he was satisfied with my acting. But… that wasn’t even acting…. None of them
was an act….
It’s end.
Our time is over. The scene was success. That was the last scene. I should back
to reality. That’s true, all people here only doing their work. Neither of them
let their individual feeling crush their art. That’s all. It won’t be the same
anymore. I steal a glimpse at Kim Kyu Jong when he was talking to the director.
What should I do now… it’s all over…
“Good work
today. Thank you for your hard work.” He messed my hair. After that, his
manager was calling him and the only thing I could see was his back. Quickly, I
ran over my van to look for a pen and a paper. I rushed toward him before he
was gone from my sight. I stopped him before he could get inside his manager’s
car.
“Sunbaenim,
thank you for everything.” I bowed to him as my last sentences to him. I gave
him the note I wrote down on the van. After changing smile to him, I ran back
to my van because my manager called me. It’s all end. But, I will treasure
these feelings forever.
Kyujong
apparently being startled toward my sudden action then he got back to his car
calmly with the paper I gave to him. He sat on the passenger seat in the time
he read my note:
Kim Kyu Jong, I love you…
He smiled
after reading that sentence. A bright smile which could be seen from the face
recognizes my true self. He satisfied.
-the end-
규종씨는 오늘 화나셨는데! 헐..... 규종씨는 나한테 소리하지 않습니다 근데 그냥 침묵되고있는... 진짜 무섭다 ㅠㅠ 왜 규종씨는 화나셨는데?? 나 때문에. 아침부터, 아침 식사를 멀리 던졌다 왜니하면 너무 매운했어 장난 아니라 (__) 근데 사실을 매운은 않아요 난 그녕 규종씨를 화나게하고 싶지 않아요.... 나는 식사를 유지하기 위해 자신을 강제로 너무 매운 이었더라 하지만 내가 어떤 음식을 낭비하고 싶지 않아요 ㅠㅠ 미안해 우리 자기.... 규종씨가 나의 음식은 자동으로 빼앗아요, 규종씨가 나의 아침 식사를 멀리 던졌다, 나를 위해 또 다른 아침 식사를 요리할때.... 그것은 반대하지만 규종씨가 여전히 나를 위해 요리 했어요 흑흑 진짜 무서워 ㅠ.ㅠ 정말 죄송합니다 자기야.... 나는 너에게 화가 아니에요~ 미안해요 규종씨, 너가 요리 할때 정말 잘생긴네, 사랑합니다♡
오늘.... 내가 갑자기 건강하지 않아요.... 왜그렇니?? 나도 모르겼어 혹시 날씨는 때문이까 내가 기분이 안좋아요 나의 머리도 아파요... 그래서 네가 갑자기 토하다 ㅠㅠ 흐으윽.... 하지만 규종은 내 뱃속에 아기가 말했다, 뭐라겄니???? 슙슙!!! 애기????
제주 안녕.... 서울에서 우리 돌아와중 ㅠㅠ 이것은 느낌에서 완전 소중한 시간 보낸거같아요 오래오래 기억하뒤는지도 우리가 같이와 함께서 소중한 시간 보내뒨다 아 진짜 제주 투어 내가 소중한 시간을 잊지 못할 것입니다 왜나하면 규종씨가 더더 소중한 사람이 있잖아 그래서 내가 그 남자가 오래오래 같이 시간을 잊이 못해요 ㅋㅋㅋ
오늘 내가 이해서 매일매일 규종씨는 같이 함께 로맨틱처럼 아프로도 규종씨는 매일매일 행복한 시간 것같아요^^ 왜 이렇게 두근두근에 중단 뒬 수 없냐구... 우리는 우리의 일상 생활에 있습니다^^;; 아아.. 아쉽다ㅠㅠ - 나는 규종씨와 함께 제주 살 수 있으면 좋겠다 왜나함연 우리는 사람들 별도로 살고 싶어 그리구 제주도 완전 이뻐서 그래서 우리는 평화롭게 살 수있다. 우리 제주가 마지막 날 투어에서 떡볶이는 먹방 있짆아 ㅎㅎ 네가 떡볶이는 많이 먹곴다 내가 떡볶이 좋아햇!!! 네가 이렇게 매일매일 규종씨 같이 살 수 있으면 좋겠다~ 하루하루가 난 생일 같아~~ 미소가 떠나지 않아~~ ㅋㅋㅋ
오늘 내가 이해서 매일매일 규종씨는 같이 함께 로맨틱처럼 아프로도 규종씨는 매일매일 행복한 시간 것같아요^^ 왜 이렇게 두근두근에 중단 뒬 수 없냐구... 우리는 우리의 일상 생활에 있습니다^^;; 아아.. 아쉽다ㅠㅠ - 나는 규종씨와 함께 제주 살 수 있으면 좋겠다 왜나함연 우리는 사람들 별도로 살고 싶어 그리구 제주도 완전 이뻐서 그래서 우리는 평화롭게 살 수있다. 우리 제주가 마지막 날 투어에서 떡볶이는 먹방 있짆아 ㅎㅎ 네가 떡볶이는 많이 먹곴다 내가 떡볶이 좋아햇!!! 네가 이렇게 매일매일 규종씨 같이 살 수 있으면 좋겠다~ 하루하루가 난 생일 같아~~ 미소가 떠나지 않아~~ ㅋㅋㅋ
Jeju day-3!!!!
Beach!!! 완전 기다리 기다리다... 완잔 이야기 이야기다.... 하나.. 들.. 셋... 제주해수욕장!!!!! >_< 아~ 내가 해변에가서 제일 좋아요 그리구 오늘도 왼전 기다리 기다리다~ 와~~~!!!
우리가 모래에 놀이 같아서~~ ㅋㅋㅋ 내가 모래 쓰기에 했어요, 내가 무엇을 쓰기나요?? 비밀은데!!! ㅎㅎㅎ 장난에요. 내가 "산다라 ♥ 김규종"에서 쓰기 했다.... 감동감동?? ㅋㅋㅋ
그리구 우리 다이빙에서 가고뒤는데~ 물고기 놀자~~ >.< 제주의 중보기는 완전........ 말문없다요 @.@ 니가 스스로 그것을 경험해야지..... 제일 ㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ 대박이중!!! 물고기가 이뻐!! 산호가 이뻐!! 바다는 예쁘지!!! 캭..... 난 정말 말을 잃었다
Jeju day-2!!!
와~~ 오늘 날씨는 좋다요~~ 히힛 그래서 내가 일찍 일어났다~~ 착한 여자 있잖아~ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 음..... 오늘 우리가 제주테디비어뮤지엄 가고 있었다~! >.< 그 뮤지엄 재가 공 드라마 TV에서 보라곴어 헐..... 그래 지금 내가 여기의 가고 해요 ㅋㅋㅋ 정말 재미있다!!! 그 테디베어도 제일 이쁘고도 귀여워요~~~ ^^ 내가 다시 언제나 여기는 가고싶어요!!!! 규종씨 고마워~^^ 사랑합니다 뿅~~
Jeju here we come~!!!
우리는 제주-도에 가고왔어요!!! >.< 유후~~! 이것은 나의 첫번재 사랑하는 사람이과 가고있다 그래서 내가 완전 행복하시고 흥분고 느낌에 기분이 넘넘 좋다요!!! 우리가 함께 시간을 보내고 있어요 그리구 우리 아름다운 추억이있을 기억해야 할 것같아요....^^
우리는 제주에 도착하자마자 우리는 좋은 시간을 가지고 있어요~ 두둥~~!! 제주가 완~~~~~~전 이쁘다~ 키독키독.... 우리의 호텔도 해변 근처입니다. 보기는 좋은가 아름답다 ^__^ 쉬식을위한 우리 더더 우리 위해 여행을 준비하고있다~!
오늘밤에 우리는 해산물을 먹고 있습니다. 나는 많은 해산물을 먹을지만 다른 느낌에셔서 사랑스러운 사람 같이 먹는 느낌을 행복 해요 ㅋㅋㅋ 빰!!! 그것을 보고 차 별에서 우리.... 완전 예쁘고.... 완전 아름다워.... 느낌을 좋다요..... 우리의 사랑이 깊은 성장 했다..... 내가 사랑스러운 똑가튼된데?? ㅋㅋㅋ
1개월 축하드립니다!!! ^^
ㅋㅋㅋ 나의 사랑하는 선배님, 소중한 사람 김규종~ 1개월 축하드립니당~ ㅋㅋㅋ
김규종 선배님~~!!!!!!!우아아아~!! Time flies so fast we already reach our first month!!!! I still cant believe this ㅠ.ㅠ Am I still dreaming?? 맞니 맞니??
My magician kyu, chef kyu, singer kyu, bodyguard kyu, gorilla kyu, boyfriend kyu~♥
나는 널 부탁해에서 정말 감사합니다 (__)1st month has coming since the day i confessed to you it still feel surreal for me >.<
I was going to say maaaaaaaany things 근데..... why its disappear now 헉!!!! 아 진짜 미치겠다 ㅠ.ㅠ 진짜 부끄럽네...
근데 i still write this blabbering essay of mine, 죄송해요 (__)흠.... I hope you arent getting bored with me~ i hope we are lasting in a long time...(Im afraid to say forever ㅜㅜ because nothing last forever) Please be healthy always!!!! Who will protect me if you are sick?? Please be happy~ 너의 미소가 정말 귀여워♥
난 정말 좋아해 캬하하항 & >.< I have promised myself to make you happy always so pls smile alot!!! ^__^vGood luck for your japanese debut~!!! Keep your eyes from that japanese girl 알아치?! Or else i will fly to Japan and kill you!!! 난 장난 아니라!!! ㅡ3ㅡ그럼..... 선배님... 아니.. 자기야.... 1개월 축하해요!! 나는 널 정말 사랑합니다^^ 많이많이 사랑해스니까용~~정말 정말 사랑해!!!!! 끝!!!!!! >.< Your noisy, hyper, crybaby, crazy, chicken little, girlfriend Sandara Park.
ㅅㄷㄹ ♥ ㄱㄱㅈ
ㅋㅋㅋ 나의 사랑하는 선배님, 소중한 사람 김규종~ 1개월 축하드립니당~ ㅋㅋㅋ
김규종 선배님~~!!!!!!!우아아아~!! Time flies so fast we already reach our first month!!!! I still cant believe this ㅠ.ㅠ Am I still dreaming?? 맞니 맞니??
My magician kyu, chef kyu, singer kyu, bodyguard kyu, gorilla kyu, boyfriend kyu~♥
나는 널 부탁해에서 정말 감사합니다 (__)1st month has coming since the day i confessed to you it still feel surreal for me >.<
I was going to say maaaaaaaany things 근데..... why its disappear now 헉!!!! 아 진짜 미치겠다 ㅠ.ㅠ 진짜 부끄럽네...
근데 i still write this blabbering essay of mine, 죄송해요 (__)흠.... I hope you arent getting bored with me~ i hope we are lasting in a long time...(Im afraid to say forever ㅜㅜ because nothing last forever) Please be healthy always!!!! Who will protect me if you are sick?? Please be happy~ 너의 미소가 정말 귀여워♥
난 정말 좋아해 캬하하항 & >.< I have promised myself to make you happy always so pls smile alot!!! ^__^vGood luck for your japanese debut~!!! Keep your eyes from that japanese girl 알아치?! Or else i will fly to Japan and kill you!!! 난 장난 아니라!!! ㅡ3ㅡ그럼..... 선배님... 아니.. 자기야.... 1개월 축하해요!! 나는 널 정말 사랑합니다^^ 많이많이 사랑해스니까용~~정말 정말 사랑해!!!!! 끝!!!!!! >.< Your noisy, hyper, crybaby, crazy, chicken little, girlfriend Sandara Park.
ㅅㄷㄹ ♥ ㄱㄱㅈ
(영어로 나 쏠 해불까?? can i write in english for this moment? ㅋㅋㅋ )
Uhm.... today.... we are having our special time, aren't we? ㅋㅋ this will be too embarrassing to write even to read.. 근데 괜찬아요??
Today is the day when we are drunk in love... Today is the day when I trust you with everything... Today is the day when we both are holding to each other and fly high... Today...... 👉👈 (부끄부끄)
It feels comfortable when i look into your gentle eyes... it feels comfortable when i feel your soft touch.... it feels comfortable when your hug give me warmth.... it feels comfortable when our lips pressed against each other.... it feels comfortable to be with you.... your scent that lingers toward me.... your voice that soothes me.... your heartbeat that pumped together with mine.... i was wishing that today would stop...
캮!!!! >///< Am i exaggerating it?? ㅋㅋㅋ I will always treasure today's moment, it's just too precious eventhough Im shy too remember it again but the joy of reminiscing this moment is.....♥♥♥♥
Let's be together forever....
산다라♥김규종
